The sins of our fathers

I have read about a prostitute whose mother was at one time in her life was also engaged in the flesh trade. I have read about an alcoholic father whose son later became hooked on alcohol.

I have also read about a pious mother who has a daughter now serving a life sentence. I have also read about a hardworking father who has a drug dependent son.

More often than not, a renegade parent begets a problematic child. But what surprises me is how a God-fearing mother or a father who is a good provider can have a child who is the exact opposite.

This goes to show that there is no assurance of what your child will become. But I have this theory.The sins of our fathers are the root cause of why there are children who as adults become a bane to society. But to blame the sins of our fathers as the reason why there are children who as adults create chaos is grossly unfair.

The sad reality is that the sins of our fathers are the result of the sins committed by there fathers before them. And so a vicious cycle is created.

I am not talking here of sin in the spiritual sense. But rather I refer to sin here as a parental failure or mistake that is unintentional. Or if I may point out more clearly, a parenting act that is born out of lack of understanding about being a parent.

Parenting is the most difficult job in the world. Yet, there is no curriculum anywhere in the world that teaches parenting. If you want to be a builder you have to take up a five year course in engineering. If you want to heal the sick you have to study medicine for up to ten years. If you want to hear confession and say mass you have to enter the seminary and become a priest.

But if you wish to become a parent all you have to do is find a partner and the next thing you know is that you have a child. I don’t know of any curriculum in the world that will prepare you to become a father or a mother to your child. Yet, parenting is considered by many as the most important work in human society.

Despite the lack of parenting skills, not having undergone a parenting course since none is available anyway, there are still so many more children who become adults that live a life fulfilled.

This is because there are also so many parents while ignorant about parenting have consciously made it a point to connect emotionally with there children. Emotional connection is a very important ingredient in bringing up a child who will become at peace with himself as an adult.

A child who lives in fear, a child who is insecure, a child who feels unloved can grow up disturb and unstable. A child who is praised more but sometimes put to task for a mistake committed may soon understand that life is kind but not perfect.

You are a product of who you were as a child. Who you are today is the sum total of your past. So if you are who you are now probably sad, angry or depress there is no one to blame except you. For what you will become tomorrow is how you live your life at the present.