All along I thought tonsillitis was only for children until at 38 I was hit by it. I could hardly talk. I could not even swallow my own saliva. Just before midnight of the third day of suffering what was clearly an acute tonsillitis, my wife prodded me to see a doctor. So off I went to the nearest e.r.
The doctor who saw me told me to thank myself for making the right choice of seeing a physician just before my inflamed tonsils would have fully covered my trachea giving me difficulty in breathing.
For one week I suffered intense discomfort. I had to force myself to eat so that I could take my medications. I was warned not to take my pills with an empty stomach. I had to prod myself to drink water if only to swallow my antibiotic.
At every instance I tried to lull myself to sleep so that I would not feel any physical pain.
Fourteen days after my bout of tonsillitis, I suffered from bicipital tendonitis, an inflammation of the tendons. For a few days it was very difficult to move about because any bodily motion would trigger intense pain on my injured left shoulder.
My left arm was on a sling so that the swelling will heal faster. I had to endure two weeks of having to use only my right arm.
As I was subjected to intense physical ache I was also undergoing extreme emotional pain.
Belatedly, I realized that physical pain can be a form of emotional anesthetic. As I suffered severe physical discomfort I became emotionally numb. I was so engross in battling my physical hurt I could not feel any emotional displeasure.
When my bodily pain was long gone and my emotional ache was healed I tried to choose what’s more bearable if I have to suffer any of it again.
I think I will choose neither of the two intense experiences. I know someday one or both kinds of pain will come back to disturb my peace. But I will be consoled by the thought that I have been through it before and that I will be able to weather the storm.
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